Sunday, July 31, 2005
eeyer this entire weekend was so freaggin laoyahpok. damn crap la. it happened again. yes, AGAIN. ughh. so infuriating. AND i screwed for netball. so we lost all three matches. so so sorry team. wasted all your efforts. sighsigh. oh, AND.. stuff happened. so yeah. wth. am i so insignificant?
hah. bodoh Kor5 daniel! egoegoego.
haha. it's 2hours56mins till daniel's birthday.
poor guy. he's got two CAs tmr lah! so tonight must study study. hah. screw it lah. just flung the damn test, daniel. lol.
so, well. anyways.
HAPPYBIRTHDAYKORKORDANIEL
OEI! this is one of the rare times i'll call you korkor. so you'd better appreciate it okay! hahahhahaha..
i promise you&david&diane i'll try to go fga soon soon okay! hahas. maybe during my hols or smth. when i dont need to study or wdv shit.
ok. i shall stop here. need to go and study bio and write stuff and packup and SLEEP. think il go sleep first. i'm tired. goodnight.
Friday, July 29, 2005
i love youyou love me
we're best friends like friends should be
with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you
won't you say you love me too
<3
thank you for comforting and helping me, loveyou ttooonss(:
Thursday, July 28, 2005
hi eunice<3,you'll always be my darling smurf too(:
and you can come to me whenever you need help, NO MATTER WHAT
i love you tons & tons
kara
Monday, July 25, 2005
everythings so complicated.eh. went out today with jie and the rest. spent quite abit of money. but it's okay i guess. spent most of the time with jie. we were kinda sian because because. actualy i dont quite know why. heh. maybe next time we'll have more fun.
jie&i!
haha. did i mention. i finally bought my tanning lotion. and jie and i completed our mission! at far east! woohoots (: we even had to brave the rain to get there okay! lol. we shared umbrella so the left half of jie's body got all wet and the right half of my body got all wet. haha. so we decided to change places. so both sides got wet. haha. we're funny! we had fun! and we accomplished out mission! woohoots!! (:
but uhh.. some things are getting complicated.. and i think it might turn ugly.. but i guess if she doesnt care then i wouldnt bother. simple as that. so, not that complicated after all? hmm.. still quite complicated la. but i wouldnt bother. i shall take korkor's good advice.
oh. and i'm left with lyk $2 to last me the rest of the week.
o-h wells.
cant say it was totally worth it...
but the money spent on the mission was with absolutely no regrets, right jie? (;
sigh. most of my friends are at fdd now. and im at home doing pw pp.. and then maybe a bit of geog.. sigh. jie also couldnt go. andrea too. owells.
at least..
umm..
at least..
ah screw it.
nvm.
oh ya. mingxuan;s going holland tmr till the 4th. or something like that la.
lol.
i dread the week ahead. everyday. it's awkward. moreover, tuesday theres art and pw and loadsa studying. wednesday theres geog test and tingxie. friday theres netball training, i think. oh. and sec4 farewell for netball. saturday theres sports carnival. i'm so gonna screw for netball. and sunday? i hope sunday will turn out fine.. i wld've had enough of crap by then.
ok thats all.
goodnight
Friday, July 22, 2005
i'm holding on tight.. but maybe.. i should just let go.. i dont know. it'll be so hard.. they mean so much to me.. but i guess.. i cant expect the same from them.. i dont know. maybe il just let go. and see what happens. if i lose them.. then so be it? i dont know. i dont know anything anymore. i just wanna go home.
i feel like i'm holding on to a teddybear. the moment i let go of its hand, the clump of stuffing just slips out of mine. it doesnt hold on..
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
this post is long and random.suddenly i feel so enthu. wanna study hard hard and exercise and diet and go shopping and crap like that. but it'll die out by tmr. i'm quite sure of that.
hmm. i'm starting to like romeo&juliet. it's so lovey dovey and the language use is quite interesting. haha. lotsa hidden meanings. i think this weekend i'd watch the vcd. haha but ive only got the modern version. i dont think it'll be as nice as the original. but korkor asked mummy to buy it lastyear. he studied it lastyear for his lit i think.
haha. cold juicy sweet watermelon after exercise is damn shiok lah! just went "running" haha. ran for a short while only. then i walked the rest of the track. damn ive got no stamina. hmm. the track was quite pleasant. it's just outside the condo. in fact it's just outside my window! haha. there were quite few people exercising and it was quite sunny but not too hot. and there was a nice breeze. hmm. should use this track more often. and build up stamina. then i can have power legs! haha.. and maybe get a lil more tanned?
speaking about getting more tanned, anyone gotta good suntan lotion to recomend? cos it's really hard for me to get tanned. when i'm in the blazing hot sun i either dont get tanned at all or i get sunburned and then everything peels off and then i'm back to the same shade. haha. think i'll go tanning downstairs at the swimming pool more often. but first i'd have to get a decent twopiece and suntanlotion and some company. anyone wanna join me? (:
oh ya. did my artwork last night. kinda last minute lol. did it in lyk half an hour or smth. was working on the second piece. jacelyntay's face. kara had helped me cut out her face from a mag and then i'd have to paste half the face on drawingblock and then draw out the other half. rmb my first attempt at drawing faces was mab's face. haha. that one turnedout quite cartoon. and then my second attempt was some glam celeb's face. that one was quite small and she ended up looking like a monkeyy! everyone laughed at it lahh! but damn funny lah. cos she looked damn monkeyy! hmph. and then my third attempt, which is the second attempt at the assignment, was lyk waliao damn shiok shiok lah! haha. adding shadows to her face is just like putting makeup. really! shade a littlebit with pencil and then rub and smudge it with your fingers! haha maybe one day i should try that on my face! then i'd endup looking like a clown! (: haha. anyways, i felt so accomplished. my fingers were blackblack, and although one eye was bigger than the other and the ear looked damn weird.. but her face looked kinda realistic! yay (: but when i showed my friends, aud and mab thought i cheated! hmph. =/
we have swimming tmr during sch hours. last three periods. lol. it's part of our pe. cant rmb if we're going acjc or acsi. yeah. we'll be having swimming pe for the rest of term3. lol. i like going swimming and all..but i'm not exactly very excited about it this time. o-h wells. dont exactly have much of a choice lah.
i've sorta started my diet this week. ive put on weight. alot of weight, and i'm not lying this time. and it's not okay this time cos i didnt grow any taller. so i'm gonna exercise more now and eat only what is necessary. so no more chocolate and coffee and lollipops and currychickenrice and nasilemak and laksa and chips and gassydrinks and chicken and fried food. no more cakes and brownies and pastries and sweetdrinks. and no more oily food. and no more kfc and macs and longjohns and mosburger. now it's mostly vege, fish, soup, fruits, and juice. and yummy birdsnest!
oh. and i hope daddy will buy me those PINK weights. they're not very expensice and they're quite mild so i guess i can commit.
oh yes, did i mention i did situps lastnight? haha i'm so proud of myself (: 50 wasnt as had as i had expected. lyk just beofre i was abt to sleep i was lying down on my bed and i almost fell asleep and then i had to getup to turn off the lights. and then i satup. and then i felt lazy so i lay back down again. and then i was lyk omg i should do situps so that i'll sleep lyk a baby after that. haha. so lame rite. heh! i shall do this more often. yes i shall!
hmm. ive got my chem spa test tmr. we've gotta lightup bunsenburners and then heatup the test tube until the water inside boils. hope i screwup!
i really really wanna get a nice thick pullover. dont know why the sudden obsession. you know where i can get nice nice ones?
mab and jas should be coming this sat. i really really hope they can makeit and there wont be any last minute changes and i hope jas doesnt get a muscleache from squash on friday. yeah. i really hope they can make it.
monday is founder's day i think. ah heck. all i know is that theres no lessons on monday (x hehh. i wanna go out on monday! just mab and jas and me!! haha. but i guess we'll have to see how first la. somehow i have a feeling we wont be going out in the end. i dont know why. but i guess i'm used to it. did i mention? the rest are all going for founder's day dinner and i'm not! boohoos. they get to go shopping for nice formal and pretty clothes and accessories and then go for nice dinner at nice hotels. and il be at home studying geog? sighsigh. so jealous! i havent gotten the chance to go shopping for those nice pretty formal outfits and then dollup for those fancy dinners in ages! sighsigh.
still kinda upset about it. was kinda looking forward to it.
but no point feeling upset i guess. i'll just have to wait afew more years till hweekiat and michelle's. or 8 years till korkor's! (x i'll be 21 then! hahahahhahaha..
oh ya. ate two lil pieces of jojo's lovely brownies! cldnt tahan. damn heavenly lahh! then after that she continued to tempt and seduce me with her box of brownies. naughty jojo. but i resisted! so proud of me (: but lyk mab and i said. better eat them while they;re free! for all you know one day jojo's cookies and brownies will become so damn famous and then we'd have to lineup for days and weeks and pay bug bucks just to have a taste of her heavnly cookies and brownies! lol. (:
oh. i think we're gonna start one of those exercise groups. andrea's idea. i'm all for it!
haha i cant wait to meet mab's dogs. all three of them. then we'll go jogging at the beach, sesametwins and trippledoggiepower! haha. i'm so lame (: but then i'd have to pickup their poopoo. mabel says they're full of it. eeek!
at the end of the year i might/should be going on a missiontrip to thailand. roughly know the team already. nicolechooi is the teamleader. mx is the assistant teamleader. kat is something like the team mentor, kinda lyk my daddy lastyear. and korkor, andrew, michelle and gladys are going too. haha i'm so excited to see what papa has in store for this team. this team put-together is really different from lastyears and the previous teams. but i guess every year the team is uniquely different. do pray for team unity. and for the preperations here as well as in thailand. haha this is gonna be such an experience. oh and guess what. i'm the youngest in the team again! hope i'd be able to make as good a contribution to the team though. pray for strength and maturity? aiyah. i'll just trust in Him la.
i feel so happy. dont know why. today's quite ordinary. everythings still the same. nothing has changed for the better. i think. anyways, i'm glad to be glad. hope this energy doesnt go away tmr. i miss this feeling and i hope it stays.
dinner and homework. and letters to write <3 color="#000000" size="1">
Monday, July 18, 2005
The Endby Dev
I turn the corner, and there you are,
While we both pretend not to see the other.
We keep walking, our eyes straight ahead,
And I'm grateful, as we pass one another.
We were best friends for one year,
A year of laughter, a year of tears.
In the short time of bliss,
We had promised to be friends for years.
But those ‘years' have now been altered,
And the friendship has lasted just one.
I know that it is the end,
This is a friendship that will not be won.
You don't understand why it ended,
Or that I didn't want it to.
But sometimes in life,
You have to do what you have to do.
This was one of those cases,
I could no longer call you my friend.
I now know it can never go back,
And I have to realize, this is the end.
Friday, July 15, 2005
Predictable
Good Charlotte
Something isn't right
I can feel it again feel it again
This isn't the first time
That you left me waiting
Sad excuses and false hopes high
I saw this coming still I don't know why
I let you in
I knew it all along
You're so predictable
I knew something would go wrong
(something's always wrong)
So you don't have to call
Or say anything at all
So predictable (so predictable)
So take your empty words your broken promises
And all the time you stole cause I am done with this
I can give it away give it away
I'm doin everything I should've
And now I'm makin a change
I'm living the day
I'm giving back what you gave me
I don't need anything
I knew it all along
You're so predictable
I knew something would go wrong
(something's always wrong)
So you don't have to call
Or say anything at all
So predictable (so predictable)
Everywhere I go
Everyone I meet
Every time I try to fall in love
They all want to know why I'm so broken
Why am I so cold
Why I'm so hard inside.
Why am I scared
What am I afraid of
I don't even know
This story's never had an end
I've been waiting
I've been searching
I've been hoping
I've been dreaming you would come back
But I know the ending of this story
You're never coming back
Never..never..never..never.....[echo].....
I knew it all along
You're so predictable
I knew something would go wrong
(something's always wrong)
So you don't have to call
Or say anything at all
So predictable (so predictable)
Everywhere I go for the rest of my life
(so predictable)
Everyone that I love
Everyone I care about
They're all gonna wanna know what's wrong with me
(so predictable)
And I know what it is
I'm ending this right now..
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
ive been having mood swings
i think it's partly due to lack of sleep. lousy time management; my fault i guess.
but i guess mood swings are also part of facing up to reality. one moment you feel so pink and light and happy and high. you've got everything you want and all the love you need. next moment you feel so blackwhitegrey and depressed. you don;t have anything. and you're all alone. you hate life and everything and everyone in it. you want to get away from everyone. and get away from everything; you so want to runaway from home; runaway from life
but how to run away from life? kill yourself? budden after that you'd go to heaven/hell for eternity. how to escape eternity?
might as well learn to love life and love the creator right. i mean. eternity of sulking. sucks rite. might as well be joyful for eternity rite.
but umm. as i have proven to myself; much easier said than done.
in my head; or somewhere in my mind; sundayschooldays have thought me over and over again the "model answers" to my questions and doubts and struggles etc. but "knowing it" is one thing. seeing it's testimony through others is another. having faith in it is yet another. and experiencing it for yourself is yet another thing altogether.
sometimes i get so upset over things that i cannot forgive. i hate. and it accumilates. i choose to feel hurt and bitter and upset. sometimes i even remind myself to be pissedoff cos i want that person to feel sorry. but sometimes im just so pissed i could just break down into tears while packing my bag. and i get grumpy and snappy and rude and vulgar and emo. yeah. this has been me for quite a while.
this "mild depression" as i would call it, comes when it comes. leaves when it leaves. i have no control over it. or do i? haha. expecting a chim chim answer right. haha. actually i have no idea. haha. dont you just love anticlimaxes. ohwells. i'm feeling so lethargic. my head's kinda spinning. and my mouth is throbbing away (thanks to my dentist and black&red tightened braces). my eyelids are getting heavy. and freaggin jellybeans it's 2339hrs alrd. lol.
i'm tired. physically (somehow), emotionally, and spiritually.
could you pray for me?
goodnight;
Sunday, July 10, 2005
you know whatif you simply dont give a damn
then please, dont pretend to care
and whatever happened to our deal?
i still remember very clearly, mind you
you talk to me nicely, i'll talk to you nicely
i talk to you nicely, you'll talk to me nicely
you shout at me, i'll have every right to shout back
i shout at you, you'll have every right to shout back
you cant just forget your promises to me just like that
ive had quite enough.
four stupid songs. nobody's home, perfect, through with you, rag doll
i'm tired. physically, spiritually, emotionally.
i need a break
Friday, July 08, 2005
hmm. my phone's batt has never lasted for so long before. it usually only lasts me one or two days? lol. this time round it lasted me bout lyk one week? lol. that's how much less i sms and call now. i guess it's obvious that you dont give a damn and there are a million other things on your mind. you dont care. and neither do i. but it's okay i guess. msg people or not i still feel the same. letting go to someone who doesnt care does not make any difference.Wednesday, July 06, 2005
mm..was doing a random poem search when i chanced upon this site. like all the other sites, i read the first poem to see what it was like. and i was lyk.. wow. okay. anyways, THIS is the site. do check it out. and the poem..comfort
When your heart is sad and lonely,
And your friends seem far away.
Turn to Him who is all holy,
And He'll drive your cares away.
When a dear one seems to fail you,
When for friendship true you long,
Confide in Him who is all true,
And He'll right your every wrong.
Jesus' heart is your true refuge,
To Him you can always flee,
Even when your hopes are sinking,
He will then a true friend be.
He will soothe your lonely spirit,
He will love and bless and say,
"Come to me and I will comfort,
You, today and every day.
Sunday, July 03, 2005
added a song. thought it sounded quite nice. very calm and soothing. quite unlike me. but eh. i like this tune.Saturday, July 02, 2005
lovely song..it's kinda sad. haha.
James Blunt - You're Beautiful
My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.
thanks for making my day (:
look at the stars;
look how they shine for you
jasmine and zoe were supposed to go to church with me today. but then cos jas had squash training ytd, she's really really tired and shes gotta a muscleache..so she wont be going. and cos jas isnt going, zoe isnt going too cos she doesnt wanna go by herself. so well. they're both not going. i'm kinda disappointed. but..it's okay i guess. maybe next time thens,.in His timing.
going to visit mabel's church tmr morning as promised. and then after that i dont know where i'm going. lol. wanna go for plaroma's gig at zouk. but no company. and i'm not sure my dad will allow anyways ): anyhoo, hope tmr will be fun. did i mention? mab's church is a chinese church. queenstown chinese methodist church. so they sing chinese songs and speak mainly in chinese. lol. eunice is going to a chinese church. hope it'll be good. hope i'll understand the sermon and all. hope her friends will be nice enough to talk to me in english or in simple chinese. yeah. hope we'll have fun.
abigail sprained her ankle ytd during netball. poor girl. hope she gets better soon. oh ya. and i'm the only sec1 netball-club-er going for the sports carnival on the 30th. all the others said they were "busy". liars. they're so lethargic about netball and training and stuff. gets on my nerves sometimes. and the training we get is SO slack. and yet they complain when we have to run ard the court only two times. and they somehow cant stand the sun. which gets on my nerves even more cos i'm dying to get into the sun so that just maybe i can get a little darker. and anyways, isnt it nice to feel hot and sweat ur ass off once in a while? isnt it good? grr. i want smth more onz. but yet not too competitive like the training team or sch team, not that i;m good enough. sigh.
oh yes. jojo, if you see this, are you free and willing to help me and mabel design a blogskin? our st blog. if not, mabel if you see this, i found one. but i'm not sure you'll like it. does your email work? and jojo, is the smurf blog ready? (: i'm dying to see it! sigh. such a pity we never had our smurf beach party. we didnt even go out as a smurf family during the hols. sigh ): such a pity such a pity.
ok. i'm gonna go eat my roti prata lunch and then head down to church with korkor. yeah. actually i feel like going back to sleep. dont really feel like going out today. anyways. goodbye.
"somehow i'm not excited anymore. "